Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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