This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
