Michael Bay diarrhea
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am available for nakedness
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
