I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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