i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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