i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
