am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We named our party play list daddy issues
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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