She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
