and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
