sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
