I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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