Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
