some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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