You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
should my penis look like a turkey
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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