super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
