I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she pinky promised me she was 18
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
