STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
