The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize