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I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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