so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
