So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
