It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
