roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
