My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
did i just pee glitter
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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