Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
