Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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