i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
