He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
