remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
