How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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