i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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