Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
