He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
