WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I have post one night stand depression
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
