This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize