My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
