Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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