Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
