he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
