We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize