White coat. Heels.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
