this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
