I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
