I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
