I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
