Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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