the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
