Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was born a porn star she said
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
