she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
