i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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