I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
