so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize