if you like me you must not know who I am
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Holy shit dude........stairs
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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