I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
