I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
