we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
