I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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