Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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