I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
