Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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