Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
