At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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