i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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