girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
