I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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