So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
