My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
